think about this this test paragraph:
Perspective 3 states that, “Intelligent devices challenge our longstanding notion of exactly what people are and will be.” I agree with this particular concept. In 2014, an awful tragedy happened throughout the Boston Marathon. Two bombs went down near the conclusion line, and three individuals were killed. A large number of individuals were additionally hurt, and several also missing limbs. Nonetheless, with brand brand new improvements in technology, lots of the victims could actually reap the benefits of high-tech prosthetics, which allowed them to come back to normal life and also perform sports. This “pushes people and devices toward new possibilities” (Perspective 3).
There’s nothing terribly incorrect with this particular paragraph. It’s grammatically correct, clear and concentrated, and utilizes among the perspectives that are outside support.
Having said that, it also features quick, declarative statements, and relatively small variation that is stylistic. There’s also only 1 transition (“however”), and attitude 3 is merely fallen in to the paragraph with very little introduction. The last quote is never ever talked about or analyzed; your reader is kept to get in touch it towards the buy an essay information that precedes it. Essentially, this really is quintessential twelfth grade writing.
Let’s assume that the remainder for the essay incorporated the rest of the views, it can probably score someplace into the 20s that are mid-high. It’s solid but does not move specially well, therefore the instance could add more specific details.
One simple method to raise the degree of your writing is by using one of several following “formulas” for presenting some other supply:
-According to perspective 1…
-As viewpoint 1 states/points out/emphasizes
-Perspective 1 suggests/implies that…
It is possible to rephrase the quote, offering it your own personal particular emphasis. So rather than composing something similar to this:
Perspective 3 states that, “Intelligent devices challenge our longstanding concept of exactly what people are and may be.” We agree with this specific idea. Continue reading “Technology must be regarded as a force once and for all as it produces new opportunities for individuals in addition to a more society that is prosperous.”