The Surrogacy: Through My Eyes
A story from a surrogate's husband




 

As most of you know, my wife and I just finished an adventure in surrogacy. Lisa delivered a healthybaby boy on Monday afternoon. After much thought, and many questions, I've decided to write about the experience, through my eyes. I'll start from the beginning. (That's usually the best place to start) I'm not even sure if our third child had been born at this point, but several years back my cousin and his wife were having a hard time conceiving. Lisa and I had talked amongst ourselves that when we had decided we were done having kids, she'd like to help them by being a surrogate. I was cool with it, and put it on the back burner. About a year after we moved to our new home, Lisa got pregnantwith our third child (yes, it was planned) and when it was a girl, I knew that I was done having kids. I always wanted that girl, even though Lisa was hoping for a third boy. So, in April 2007, I got theold snippy snip and I knew my seed planting days were reserved to only the backyard garden. Anyway, in the meantime, my cousin and his wife got pregnant and now have a healthy little girl. So Lisaasked me what I thought about her being a surrogate for a couple we don't know. I told her I was fine with that. So Lisa did some research and found Parenting Partners in Gurnee, Illinois. She made arrangements for a meeting with Shirley Zager, the woman who runs it, and we were then set up witha couple. We first met them in November 2007. They are great people and we instantly seemed to click. So, we made another trip to Chicago in late November to see a psychologist, to make sure none of us was crazy. Believe it or not, we passed. Anyway, they did a transfer of the mother's egg and the father's sperm in December 07. That ended up not working and the doctors did it again in April 2008. This time it was a success. It required Lisa to travel to Chicago quite a bit initially. She always said she felt bad for me, because I was left here with the kiddos, but I always felt bad for her, because it was her getting the shots, taking the meds, and doing all the traveling. I'm fortunate to have a boss who understands and getting the time off from work to be with the kids was never an issue. So fast forward to Monday and the delivery. I was in the room with Lisa and the parents to be. It was a surreal experience for me I think. That's probably the best way to describe it. The mom helped Lisa with the pushing. I stood back and watched, and the dad was on the sidelines too. I'm not sure how comfortable he felt. But in just a matter of a few minutes, the baby was here. I was very happy that he was a healthy little guy. Very cute and he even peed on the nurse right after they moved him to the warming table. It was neat to be able to photograph the new parents cutting his umbilical cord. Up until that moment, I felt a little strange about the process, maybe even a little sad. So, I don't brag about my family very often, but I'm going to now. I thought Lisa was incredible before this, now I love her even more. Even though she was paid for this, it was still a big sacrifice for her. She thoroughly enjoyed the experience and has talked about doing it again. I'm proud of her and glad she's my wife. And if you're wondering, the kids had no problem understanding the situation. They knew the baby was never ours, mommy was just helping him grow. Thanks to all our friends and family for their support and kind words, and in some cases delicious meals. We appreciate all of you. Seriously though, any questions, just ask. I feel like I've rambled on, but only really scratched the surface.

Kevin